COUPLES THERAPY
If you have ever been to a sporting event where they featured a “kiss cam” on the scoreboard, it is most often the elderly couple that receives the greatest ovation from the crowd when they share a simple kiss. There is something about this picture that strikes a deep chord in us when we witness an enduring love relationship that has weathered many storms and yet maintained the sweetness of a safe and secure bond. In contrast, there are few things that cause more anguish than the experience of losing connection with one’s partner or sensing that your most important relationship is on shaky ground. It is at the point of relationship distress when couples are most likely to seek help.
In the 1980’s, Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Les Greenberg developed a method based on attachment theory that has proven effective for helping couples move away from conflict deadlock toward bonding interactions that foster closeness, safety, and security within their relationship. It is called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). This method, which began in Canada, has now spread across the globe and is only 1 of 2 empirically validated couples therapies. The American Psychological Association has declared it as the ‘gold standard’ approach for couples in distress. In fact, a meta-analysis has shown that 70 – 75% of couples recovered completely and 86 – 90% experienced significant improvements with progress continuing even after therapy. EFT has also shown to be effective for couples at high risk for divorce, for those who have lost a child, or where one or both partners is suffering from problems such as depression, anxiety, and/or trauma, for example.
I am a strong believer in the EFT method and have chosen this approach because it is based on a coherent theory of adult love relationships and has solid evidence behind it. It has been tremendously rewarding to work with couples who have not only reduced conflict and distance but have shaped their relationship into a more loving secure bond. EFT is a short-term intervention typically lasting 12 – 24 sessions in order to achieve optimal long-term benefits. If you are considering help for your relationship, I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you and your partner for an initial session. If you sense that I have a good understanding of your situation and you feel comfortable with me, we can get started on this very important work together.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud
was more painful than the risk to blossom”
– Anais Nin